That afternoon, I paid with more than just my cash,
I paid with the integrity of my body,
The sanity of my mind,
The tarnishes which became corrosions into my soul.
Each lubricated stroke,
Supposedly made to release tension,
Only intensifying and casting it within the core of my physicality,
For all eternity.
I paid with the erosion of my future,
My future self,
My future earnings,
My future comfort.
I paid for something I didn't want,
For which I would have paid anything to prevent,
To end,
To retrospectively erase.
I paid for your pleasure,
With my unending pain,
A cost you will never face, endure, suffer,
In the manner you justly should.
Yet the earnings and costs in life,
Rarely have justice at the heart,
I can only hope that your heart shall face such pain,
In whatever awaits us beyond this existence.
